i'm signing you up for texting rehab
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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