Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
