She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
