if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
