A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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