Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
