i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
