PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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it's like iHOP with fire
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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