I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
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just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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