Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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