can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
