You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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