mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize