You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
