I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
