Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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