hotel room ftw
I bet he comes in French.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
