Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
