Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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