Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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