If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we made out on top of his cat.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
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I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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