it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think your dad took our porno
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
