I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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