dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
