why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
