Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
