No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
