i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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