"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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