I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
home. puking in laundry basket.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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