As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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