glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
