Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize