If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
