and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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