Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
