Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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