i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
