You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
