I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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