how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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