WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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