I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
