Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
