There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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