So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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