This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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