I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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