I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
