kristin has been a bad kristin
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
