i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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