No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
