This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
