Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her

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(217): View more from Illinois

i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(770): View more from Georgia

She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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(386): View more from Florida

Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

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(216): View more from Ohio

That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?

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