3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
