Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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