Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just invented taco cereal.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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