just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
