wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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